The Next Step

 

Don’t leave me hanging;

For your next best thing;

I will not wait as my wrinkles deepen;

You choose not to slow down;

As the voices bleed into the one;

Much to my dismay;

You will never wait for me;

Loyalty a thing long passed;

Love being the only  truth on solid ground;

In this dream of a world we call home.

I am always trying to think of the next step.  Especially with my life, I often wonder if people think the same way that I do.

I was born  before a PC  was as common in a home as a TV.  I was elated as well as extremely curious when we got a TV  with a remote and cable I was ten. So I seriously struggle ‘keeping up’ with this constantly manipulated technological environment that we seem to have created for ourselves now.

It is hard to commit to the next step for me, this world we now live in seems to be full of people who lack impulse control, so you are never really sure where you stand.  What is even worse it is okay!  I can feel like a million bucks and then turn on my computer and in a matter of seconds, I am over the hill, I have a disease, and I feel the need to psychologically re-evaluate all my relationships.

How do I teach my daughter that the things outside of her aren’t as important as her self esteem and self worth?  It scares me and yet I welcome the challenge with love and deep commitment.  I am a Jellyfish or a Helicopter Parent either way, my daughter, like my son, will know that loving oneself first is the most important thing when it comes to taking another step in life.  This is a tough lesson when faced with only a faint light a the end of any proverbial tunnel.  Especially after repeatedly  fulfilling the  demands and needs of others before considering your own.

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