The Shell of a Girl That Once Was



That is what she lives in, a shell of a body that was once thought of as sexy and beautiful. She has a brain that works on only long term resurrection.  I have a really hard time with this because it may be caused by mind numbing boredom or all the medications she is convinced to take.  It must be like living in solitary confinement on the best of days…


She has Multiple Sclerosis.  She is my younger sister.


I get extremely angry and frustrated at this degenerative auto immune disease, I hate what it does to her.  She was very depressed and suicidal for a long long time because of this disease.  I have felt the same way because of it.  She is my best, and sometimes my only friend.

She never had the chance to give me nieces or nephews like we talked about so very long ago.  She had just gotten her first car when diagnosed, but had to sell it a year later because her legs couldn’t work properly to drive safely.

People from other countries that have never even heard of this disease can move to Canada and have a child here and that child can get Multiple Schlerosis!  Why?!?!?

We still do not know why. This makes me so angry at IT, this really is Canada’s Disease and we need to stop it.  I fear that in my sisters life time I will not be able to go to her and say, “We did it Cara, we found the cure.”

My beautiful sister had her life stolen from her because of MS.  We need to continue to battle, educate, inspire and nurture those that are unaware of what this can do to a person.

I was spending time with Cara recently, helping brush her teeth, feeding her thickened water and loving her like I always do.  Then the nurse came to her door and politely asked us if we were busy.  Busy living, surviving and depending on others; Yes.  Other than that nope.

I felt like asking her if we were intruding on her schedule because she proceeded to force feed my dear sister disgusting crushed up meds in applesauce while asking her to help her by taking it quicker.  While in doing so telling Cara how lucky she is to have me.

I am the lucky one.  I have still have Cara, she is the true definition of a fighter. She is tenacious and hilarious.  She reminds me every day that life ain’t so bad, because of her positive attitude. How she remains so positive sometimes is beyond me.

First of all, my sister has issues with swallowing because of this revolting disease and second of all, she is unable to process information quickly because of it.

That nurse pissed me off.  She was condescending and rude.  I am sure she is very unaware of how she made me at that time.  Even though the air was thick with resentment from me.

Unfortunately this nurse may not ever read this, or understand life from Cara’s point of view.  But I have to pick my battles wisely, because what if I raise a stink about something and a staff member decides to take it out on her when I am not there? What then?  I really hate to have to even think like this, because most health care professionals are truly awesome individuals.

All in all I am really hoping our precious studies and scientists find a cure long before my sister forgets she even suffers from Multiple Sclerosis.  We need the cure now, so Canada can stop saying this is ‘our disease’.  I hate this disease and I hate the amount of time it takes to produce an ounce of understanding about it.  My sister does not have the luxury of time or control anymore.



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